I’ve Been Wrong- This Isn’t Self Love
Cosmetic Microneedling and Morpheus8 Gone Wrong But My New Perspective Is All Right
I had a pretty rude awakening during this month of self care. I woke up horrified, panicked and scared. Two days after receiving what I was calling a “self care” treatment, I awoke in a nightmare. My face was extremely swollen. It was so red, it looked purple. I was covered with excruciatingly painful itchiness from the base of my neck up to my hairline. My skin felt rough and bumpy to the touch. This was absolutely NOT supposed to happen after a recent microneedling procedure. The esthetician I had used (who I will not name so don’t ask me) had been so careful about rescheduling this treatment when I was getting over being sick a few weeks ago. But with any of these cosmetic procedures no matter how many precautions are taken, there are always associated risks. And unfortunately a rare allergic reaction was happening to me.
I had been documenting this procedure and planned to share my journey with you all. That was until I woke up looking like a monster two days after my treatment. I was told I might look a little “beat up” and might experience some itching after the treatment. But this just did not seem right. Turns out, I was having a very rare but very serious allergic reaction to whatever was pushed into my skin by the many needles of the treatment. I was upset, embarrassed, ashamed and scared. And it was at this moment that I realized that this is NOT self care. This is NOT self love. I just wanted my face back, imperfections and all. And I was questioning why in the hell I would ever opt to do this to myself.
Was I in the pursuit of perfection? Was I trying to stop the natural aging process? Was I competing with false images and filtered faces that are all over social media? Was I trying to show my audience that you too can get beautiful skin and delay looking your age with just a little pain and money? Yes to all of it. And while I was completely panicked by my current condition and the fact that the doctor with 30+ years in practice claimed to have never seen this reaction to Morpheus8 microneedling, this revelation came to me: This isn’t the self love that I have been preaching about. This is the opposite of self love. I took my face that I now realize is beautiful and although not perfect, what I want back now more than anything, and I chose to push hundreds of tiny needles into it. Why? To get rid of the smallest hint of skin sagging that I had recently started to notice. I am embarrassed to admit that now with this new perspective I am currently sitting in.
So no, I am never getting anything like this done to my face ever again. I had a peel scheduled in a few weeks that is much less invasive but I will be cancelling. This blog will not be the place for you to look to learn what the cosmetic services on your list will be like. I am no longer interested in these sorts of things for my life. I am aging. I need to be ok with that. It is a blessing to age. Taking care of my body to live a longer and healthier and happier life is one thing. This is absolutely another. And so not necessary. We have all gone too far! And I attribute social media and unrealistic comparisons to playing a huge role in this. This procedure is much more serious than I had ever taken it. And the fact that people will do this and other invasion cosmetic procedures without the supervision of a doctor is absolutely reckless and stupid. Had I gotten this done at a med spa and had this reaction, I would have had no doctor to turn to. I needed immediate, heavy medication to prevent the reaction from getting even worse and becoming life threatening… because yes, that was a very real possibility.
Today as I write this, I still look scary but I feel much better and I am much less panicked. All of the medication that I am on is slowly working. Full recovery is not going to happen overnight. I am told I could look like this for over a week. So I am just patiently waiting, trying to keep a calm and positive mind, and distract myself by binging shows that I never have the opportunity to watch. But again, because this is such a rare and unknown reaction, the guidance isn’t all there. So I am just praying for the best, which is my face… just the way it was.
Below is a timeline of what happened to me after getting Morpheus8. I share these as a cautionary tale to do your research on the procedure, the professionals administering it, the doctor’s office, and the risks associated with the procedure. I’m embarrassed to admit that I did none of that here.
This is what I looked like immediately following the procedure.
24 hours after the procedure and I was starting to get red, itchy and inflamed on my neck. I thought this was normal so I did nothing.
This is what I looked like that night. I was starting to get very uncomfortable, but again, I thought this was expected so I went to bed (or tried to go to bed but ended up staying up all night in pain).
This is how I woke up two days after my Morpheus8 treatment. I was unrecognizable from the swelling and was extremely uncomfortable. It was at this point that I called the esthetician who immediately put me in touch with the plastic surgeon in her office who then took over caring for me.
This is me at my worst during this ordeal. I had been on steroids for a few hours and the reaction was still spreading, now behind my neck where I was not treated. It took a few more hours from this picture to calm the reaction and at least get it to stop spreading. This was the point where I was scared for my life.
This is the much improved (at least from the comfort level) me, 3 days on steroids and 5 days after the treatment.
When I am publishing this post, it is 9 days after the treatment. I am almost back to looking and feeling like myself. Thank god. The swelling is gone and I have occasional minor itchiness but nothing close to what I experienced the week before. My skin is a little red and bumpy, which I am told is the normal reaction to Morpheus 8. Will I get the results that I had been hoping for when I scheduled this procedure? Who the hell knows. I learned I needed to get 2 more treatments after the first one for full results but obviously, I am going nowhere near the Morpheus8 machine EVER again!